Thursday, February 3, 2011

This is my morning blog, where I talk about the morning

Gooooood morning, everyone!

(I'd like to take this moment to point out the inherent weirdness of blogs, which is that theoretically you have an audience, when really no one has ever seen your blog, ever)

It's the morning! Mornings are supposed to be good for something, so I've heard. I wouldn't know, mornings are my nemesis. Mornings spat in my face and called me stupid as a child. Mornings gave me a back-handed compliment about looking so pretty when I wear makeup.

Haha, this is all in good fun. I wouldn't want to piss the Morning off. It might make me late for work, or make me miss a bus because morning time is designed for failure.

Personally, I won at mornings this morning, because I am at work a full half hour early! That is bananas! My car died. I was forced out of my natural routine by the death rattle of a beloved hunk o' metal. I am no noble soul, spending my time alone at the bus stop in quiet retrospection. No, I am a person whose favorite job involved living above the space where I worked so I could roll out of bed at 5 minutes to 9, start a pot of coffee for the folks coming in, and not even put real clothes on, let alone shoes. It was a glorious and sketchy time in my life, and I will always miss it.

It is my understanding that some people enjoy this time of day. Some do their best work, others work out or actually make food instead of demanding some ungodly cheese and bacon creation from Starbucks. SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY MAKE THEIR OWN COFFEE AT HOME AND THEN READ THE NEWSPAPER. That is just insane. But I have no choice-for the forseeable future (and, FYI, I can see a fuckton of future 'cause I'm smart like that), I, too, will be an AM man-about-town.

Pros: energy! possibility of making my own brekky! I might shower! if I catch the bus on time I could potentially be productive! be normal like other adults who do the morning thing! yay!

Cons: either go to bed early or sleep less. feel guilty if I don't create an amazing diner-worthy brekky every day. still dark outside. be a normal adult.

As you can see from the extremely well-thought out lists above, I have much to ponder in the comings days and weeks. Does anyone have tips for the morning so we can stop this childish feud we've had for years?

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