This is my morning blog, where I talk about the morning

Gooooood morning, everyone!

(I'd like to take this moment to point out the inherent weirdness of blogs, which is that theoretically you have an audience, when really no one has ever seen your blog, ever)

It's the morning! Mornings are supposed to be good for something, so I've heard. I wouldn't know, mornings are my nemesis. Mornings spat in my face and called me stupid as a child. Mornings gave me a back-handed compliment about looking so pretty when I wear makeup.

Haha, this is all in good fun. I wouldn't want to piss the Morning off. It might make me late for work, or make me miss a bus because morning time is designed for failure.

Personally, I won at mornings this morning, because I am at work a full half hour early! That is bananas! My car died. I was forced out of my natural routine by the death rattle of a beloved hunk o' metal. I am no noble soul, spending my time alone at the bus stop in quiet retrospection. No, I am a person whose favorite job involved living above the space where I worked so I could roll out of bed at 5 minutes to 9, start a pot of coffee for the folks coming in, and not even put real clothes on, let alone shoes. It was a glorious and sketchy time in my life, and I will always miss it.

It is my understanding that some people enjoy this time of day. Some do their best work, others work out or actually make food instead of demanding some ungodly cheese and bacon creation from Starbucks. SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY MAKE THEIR OWN COFFEE AT HOME AND THEN READ THE NEWSPAPER. That is just insane. But I have no choice-for the forseeable future (and, FYI, I can see a fuckton of future 'cause I'm smart like that), I, too, will be an AM man-about-town.

Pros: energy! possibility of making my own brekky! I might shower! if I catch the bus on time I could potentially be productive! be normal like other adults who do the morning thing! yay!

Cons: either go to bed early or sleep less. feel guilty if I don't create an amazing diner-worthy brekky every day. still dark outside. be a normal adult.

As you can see from the extremely well-thought out lists above, I have much to ponder in the comings days and weeks. Does anyone have tips for the morning so we can stop this childish feud we've had for years?

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you...

Hey hey! This is the post where I actually tell you all about me. Because you're dying to know. Deep breath, here goes...

I didn't learn how to ride a bike until I was 19. I failed my first driver's test. I have a growth in the back of my...wait. Wait. This is all wrong. Do over.

I'm 26. I'm from Seattle. I love the shit out of Seattle. I love the rain (have you noticed the title of my blog? C'mon people, try to catch up), I love our inability to play with the big boys like Chicago, New York and LA and our utter desperation to do so anyway. I'm a savory, not sweets kinda gal. I'm goofy and I have goofy friends. I'm learning to play ukulele. I will hopefully be doing more and more ukulele'ing as I progress, for it is the shit.

I love homeless people. I started working in a homeless advocacy center when I was in college (Evergreen, represent!) and loved it so much I decided that hanging out with homeless people for a living was way better than anything else I could ever do. So five years later, I still do.

I have a lot to say about homelessness, about the future, about my hussy of a cat who just pees on everything, about how I know nothing of music but totally want to be in a band and pretend I'm Frank Zappa, about how hard it is to find cute clothes if you're fat but not super fat, about how soul-sucking office life is and why we will one day move the entire american workplace to a google-plex model or fail as a society, about so much stupid bullshit. That's why I have a blog.

I'm super excited, you guys.

Self Indulgence at Its Very best

Can you possibly believe I've never really had a go at blogging? I'm not going to lie, I have pathetic half-ass live journal entries from 2007, a failed tumblr account, a way too self-serious other blogger blog with one post...but this one feels good, guys. It really does. I totally won't ditch it like the others. It's special.

Notice how many times I said 'I' in that paragraph? This is what I'm talking about. Can anyone who has ever met me really believe I do not already have a regular blog where I write about...myself? I love me! I think I'm rad. I also like to think I temper this attitude with beautiful, understated humility. Hah. You see what I did there?

So what started this particular foray was a facebook post. Facebook- for people like me, who are too lazy to blog, right? I get responses to my status updates, but it's all nice and safe because theoretically I know, like, at least half the a-holes I've friended on FB. Well I caught myself saying, in all self-aware honesty, 'I totally get off on major facebook response.' And it's true.

I totally fucking do.

But, coming to this realization, I now know I must expand my self-indulgent stuff to a better, more appropriate platform. One that people would actually have to bother clicking to from my facebook page, because hey, I don't want to alienate folks who don't want to know my personal distaste for hugging (save it for another blog, I know). I need a little walking around room. There's a crazy awesome word for that and Hitler used it to talk about his need to invade the fuck outta Europe (cause Mr. Artistic Temparment needed his 'walking room) but I don't now it 'cause I'm too lazy to look it up. I totally just compared myself to Hitler. Rad.

Anyway, I like to write, I'm not too awful at writing, and I should probably do more since what the fuck else is the internet for than to help me indulge myself? I sure as hell don't know.